In the previous article, I introduced the traps that keep us from winning in our lives. It is these traps that prevent us from succeeding in the 6 keys required for a healthy life.  These traps are insidious because they are merely stories we tell ourselves that become justifications, excuses, and even reasons we defend while we go about living a less than optimal life.

Let’s look a little closer at these traps so we can be sure we recognize them immediately if they arise and choose a more successful path.

1. “I’m healthy…for my age.” This statement in and of itself is what I call a BS story! Many people think that at a certain age (40, 60, 65) they can expect their health to decline. This is simply NOT true and I can provide countless examples of people who actually get healthier as they age. Regardless of age, you are either vibrantly healthy or not. If your health is not ideal or you find your health declining, it means that something MUST change and it is your job to find out what it is and do it!

2. “No one has any time for leisure these days.” Guess what? More BS stories! I have 4 jobs, 2 small kids, an extremely busy professional wife, own my own business, travel around the world attending seminars and I MAKE plenty of time for exercise, leisure, vacations, and renewal. I understand that many people (especially moms) feel guilty or overindulgent if they take time for themselves. This way of thinking will only lead to one end…burnout…sooner or later. The reality is that taking time out to enjoy life will make you MORE productive in the long run. Please do not learn the importance of this the hard way.

3. “It’s normal to feel tired and unmotivated.” BS! It is true however that many of us have lost our passion for life. Do you even remember the passion you had as a child? If you are tired and unmotivated it means you are already burned out and something must change…NOW.

4. “Everyone fights with their families sometimes.” This one is absolutely true – but here is your gut-check. How connected are you really with your partner, kids, and closest friends? How open are your children and most trusted confidantes with you?

5. “All kids get sick – school is just a Petri dish of germs.” Sorry, more BS. Both of my kids have been in daycare and school for years and while they are a little sick from time to time – usually for a day or two – they have never taken an antibiotic or medication of any kind. Why? Because they are healthy. I do know that many kids are sick all the time. This is a sign that these children are not healthy and thriving – something is wrong. Kids are healthy and resilient by nature. If they are constantly sick it means damaging stress of some kind is accumulating.

6. “I don’t have time to worry about others.” Do I even need to say it? BS! Most of us think that we alone cannot make a difference – it is too hard and takes too much time. In reality, the quickest way to win the game of life is to help others more. All of the greatest rewards (of all types) in life go to those who help others the most. That is certainly true in my business. Make it a habit to contribute to others and watch all areas of your life start to improve immediately.

We all fall into these traps from time to time. The key is to be aware of them and get out as quickly as possible when you do. You definitely do not want to be “average,” or “normal,” when it comes to these traps.

The average Canadian starts to get sick before the age of 65 and takes a handful of pills each morning. They begin to reduce the activities they love before they even retire. They divorce once in their lives and their children no longer speak in a meaningful way to them anymore. At 84 they lay on their deathbed and wonder what happened.

Is this what you really want? Forget ordinary! Choose extraordinary – you deserve it and so do your loved ones.

Next article we move on to the Secrets of Winning the Game of Life.

In the last article, we looked at the first 4 Keys to Winning the Game of Life, and the reality behind each. This week, we will delve into the final 2 Keys and discuss the most common traps people fall into regarding their lives.

Key #5 – Raising Great and Thriving Kids. I’m sure some of you are saying, “but I don’t have kids?” This is important whether we have children and grandchildren or not. Having healthy and happy kids is one of the best indicators as to how we are doing as a society. Sick kids – sick society.

Like the reality of our previous Keys, time is a major factor in our children’s development. 70% of working parents report that they do not have enough time with their kids. As work demand increases, it is often the kids who lose out the most and unfortunately, the adults don’t always notice until something goes wrong.

The result? 3.2 million teens in Canada are at risk of developing depression and Canada’s youth suicide rate is 3^rd highest in the industrialized world! Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in 15-24 year old Canadians. This is just sad.

Perhaps even more troubling, our kids are being affected by OUR stress before they are even born. Children whose pregnant mothers experienced a stressful event are 71% more likely to be hospitalized with a severe infectious disease. If the event was experienced 11 months PRIOR to conception, they still had a 42% increase in risk.

We also know that our high divorce rates affect our kids. Children of divorced families are more than twice as likely to suffer serious social, psychological, emotional or academic problem.

Key #6 – Contributing to Others. Research has shown that in order to be truly happy and fulfilled, we must feel that we are contributing to something bigger than ourselves. Winning the Game of Life certainly requires it.

Social activity that includes giving and helping others is a powerful tool in creating happiness. Is most of your energy used to only look after yourself and your needs, or nurturing others as well?

The scope of your contribution is unimportant – for some caring for one other person is enough. Others are driven by a more global vision.

The Traps!!! Most people are aware that the keys are important to them winning the game of life. Most are also aware of the areas that they have been lacking in regarding these keys. So, why don’t we change? There are common traps or stories that we learn to tell ourselves that keep us from ever stepping up into our best lives.

These traps all have a common thread and that is the fact that we think because our problems and shortcomings are so common that they must be normal. Nothing could be further from the truth! Average is not normal! You do not want to be average because average sucks – just look around!

Are you falling into one of the 6 common traps that are causing you to lose the game of life?

1. “I’m healthy for my age.”

2. “No one has any time for leisure these days.”

3. “It’s normal to feel tired and unmotivated.”

4. “Everyone fights with their families sometimes.”

5. “All kids get sick – school is just a petri dish of germs.”

6. “I don’t have time to worry about others.”

Do any of these sound familiar to you? If so, that is great because it means a change can be right around the corner. Next article we continue on our journey to Winning the Game of Life

The Greatest Gift in the World

What is the greatest gift you can give to your children? Is it a house full of toys, the best sporting equipment and fancy vacations? Or, is it an even greater gift to provide your children with an example of health, strength, adaptability, centeredness and love? Which is more important? Which will have the greatest impact on their lives both now and in the future?

Overparenting?

Today’s Gen-X parents (of which I am one) are notorious for protecting, sheltering and coddling their children. According to the book The Fourth Turning, this is mainly in response to today’s parents being raised by Boomer parents who pretty much left them to their own devices. This phenomenon has led to “play-dates,” SUVs, an obsession with safety and parents literally having to chauffeur the kids to every single activity.

There are legitimate arguments for and against this type of parenting but as a result I hear from many fellow parents that they have given up on their activities and even self-care because they feel that by doing so they are giving their kids an advantage. So, the parent stops playing their favourite sport, going to the gym, taking the class, attending the seminar or getting the care because they feel these resources are better suited to helping their child get ahead.

You Must Give to Yourself, In Order to Give to Others

While this is commendable and my wife and I certainly make sacrifices for our boys, this line of thinking is insane. The bottom line is that the more you give yourself, the more you have to give your children. I have witnessed many parents sacrifice their way into a major health, psychological or stress crisis that left them unable to give much of anything. Aside from a crisis, don’t your kids deserve the best you have to give?

A small but powerful shift in thinking can lead to a world of difference. What if instead of asking “what can I afford (time, money, energy) for myself,” you changed it to “how can I maximize my health, energy and adaptability so that I can contribute the most to my family?” Can you see how these 2 different questions lead to 2 different results?

A Better You = More to Give

The great news is that it is not an either/or scenario. You can protect and coddle and spoil your kids and still look after yourself. In fact, when you look after YOU first you will quickly see how you can spoil THEM even more!

So make sure you take the time required to exercise and play sports that you enjoy. Being physically fit and active will give you more energy to ship your kids to arenas and recitals. Eat great quality food. In addition to more energy you will think more clearly and be in a better mood for your family.

For myself and many others, Network entrainments is the glue that holds the whole thing together. NSA care increases our ability to adapt to stress, creates better mental and emotional well-being, increases our quality of life, and has been proven to decrease the incidence of colds and flu. It also helps to produce a body that can handle even the craziest of weeks. Are you and your family not worth at least 15 minutes a week on the table?

Gifts From My Parents

This article got me thinking back to my own childhood and the wonderful gifts my parents left me. Among the greatest were being able to watch my father play ball with a fire, intensity and passion that I hold with me today. Another is the experience of living with my parents when they took their health into their hands, began seriously weight training (my mom was the city bench press champ!). Not only did they create physical strength, but more importantly a strength of spirit that literally impacted every aspect of OUR lives – and it still does.

We ARE the Legacy!

Remember parents, we are the link between all of the generations before and all that will come. We are responsible for connecting the past to the future. We ARE the legacy. Our strength, our health, our choices and our happiness affect all others. You are worth it, and so are they.