In the last article, we looked at the first 4 Keys to Winning the Game of Life, and the reality behind each. This week, we will delve into the final 2 Keys and discuss the most common traps people fall into regarding their lives.

Key #5 – Raising Great and Thriving Kids. I’m sure some of you are saying, “but I don’t have kids?” This is important whether we have children and grandchildren or not. Having healthy and happy kids is one of the best indicators as to how we are doing as a society. Sick kids – sick society.

Like the reality of our previous Keys, time is a major factor in our children’s development. 70% of working parents report that they do not have enough time with their kids. As work demand increases, it is often the kids who lose out the most and unfortunately, the adults don’t always notice until something goes wrong.

The result? 3.2 million teens in Canada are at risk of developing depression and Canada’s youth suicide rate is 3^rd highest in the industrialized world! Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in 15-24 year old Canadians. This is just sad.

Perhaps even more troubling, our kids are being affected by OUR stress before they are even born. Children whose pregnant mothers experienced a stressful event are 71% more likely to be hospitalized with a severe infectious disease. If the event was experienced 11 months PRIOR to conception, they still had a 42% increase in risk.

We also know that our high divorce rates affect our kids. Children of divorced families are more than twice as likely to suffer serious social, psychological, emotional or academic problem.

Key #6 – Contributing to Others. Research has shown that in order to be truly happy and fulfilled, we must feel that we are contributing to something bigger than ourselves. Winning the Game of Life certainly requires it.

Social activity that includes giving and helping others is a powerful tool in creating happiness. Is most of your energy used to only look after yourself and your needs, or nurturing others as well?

The scope of your contribution is unimportant – for some caring for one other person is enough. Others are driven by a more global vision.

The Traps!!! Most people are aware that the keys are important to them winning the game of life. Most are also aware of the areas that they have been lacking in regarding these keys. So, why don’t we change? There are common traps or stories that we learn to tell ourselves that keep us from ever stepping up into our best lives.

These traps all have a common thread and that is the fact that we think because our problems and shortcomings are so common that they must be normal. Nothing could be further from the truth! Average is not normal! You do not want to be average because average sucks – just look around!

Are you falling into one of the 6 common traps that are causing you to lose the game of life?

1. “I’m healthy for my age.”

2. “No one has any time for leisure these days.”

3. “It’s normal to feel tired and unmotivated.”

4. “Everyone fights with their families sometimes.”

5. “All kids get sick – school is just a petri dish of germs.”

6. “I don’t have time to worry about others.”

Do any of these sound familiar to you? If so, that is great because it means a change can be right around the corner. Next article we continue on our journey to Winning the Game of Life

In the last article we discovered that by focusing on symptoms instead of health we can actually end up sick, miserable, frustrated and even dead before our time. We also identified the 6 keys to winning the game of life. This week we will continue to explore those keys to a great life.

Key #2 – Being able to do what you enjoy! Having time for leisure and having the ability to choose how we spend our time are crucial to our mental and physical well-being. Active leisure can be divided into 3 categories: social leisure with friends and family, cognitive leisure focusing on mental stimulation, and physical leisure including sports and exercise.

While most people recognize how important these are, the reality is that our leisure time is disappearing. A study demonstrated that Canadians are spending an average of 1.5 hours less on leisure in 2005 compared to 1998.

What was the outcome of this? In 2005…35% of Canadians were overweight, while 24% were obese. 47% of Canadians were considered inactive compared to 23% active! Can you see where this trend will lead? You cannot win the game of life if you are fat and inactive.

Key #3 – Feeling Energized and Passionate! Here is some good news – a whopping 92% of Canadians say they are satisfied or very satisfied with their lives! Yet, according the same source, 1 in 5 Canadians were taking antidepressants in 2004 and suicide rates are at an all-time high.

What makes you energized and passionate? What are you yearning to do but can’t find the time for? Sports, hobbies, family time? What is stopping you?

The problem is in what takes up our time. Over 50% of workers say they often spend 12 hour days on work related duties.  The biggest concern among young workers is not having enough time for both their family AND work responsibilities and 40% of employees work overtime or bring work home EVERY week. The fact is that we are spending more time at work and less time enjoying our lives.

Key #4 – Nurturing and Fulfilling Relationships. Where would you rather spend your time – work or home? Since 1969, family time for a working couple has shrunk by an average of 22 hours per week. 88% of employees say they have a hard time juggling work and life and 64% of family caregivers are employed – most full time.

Do you have balance between work and life? Most don’t – 58% of Canadians report “overload” associated with their many roles. What is the result? Employees who consider most of their days to be stressful were over 3 times more likely to suffer a major depressive episode!

That isn’t all. About half of all workers feel that stress is affecting their interpersonal and sexual relationships. Couples who are stressed have a less active sex life and it is known that low sex marriages have a high probability of separation within 12 months.

It is clear that this lack of balance is a growing concern. Both workers and students rate work-life balance as their top concern and consider it more important than money, career advancement, or location.

In addition, this stress is affecting our physical health which can place even more strain on a relationship. Work stress is more strongly associated with health complaints than any other life stressor. Employees with the highest amounts of workplace stress suffer from over 3 times the rate of cardiovascular problems, over 5 times the rate of colorectal cancer, and up to 3 times the rate of back pain. 81% of people on earth say their jobs are affecting their health and health expenditures are 50% higher for workers with a high level of stress.

This problem has gotten so bad we are getting violent. 14% of people felt like striking a co-worker in the past year, 25% felt like screaming due to job stress, 9% are aware of an assault of violent act in their workplace, 18% had experienced a threat or intimidation in the past year, and 10% said they work in an environment where physical violence has occurred because of job stress. Are these the relationships we want where we spend such a large part of our lives?

This really becomes an issue when we bring it home with us. How is your patience with your children? How about your spouse? How are you dealing with all of the people you interact with such as in stores, at the bank, and on the road? Have you noticed that you have less patience lately?

Why is this important? These stresses are not just a concept. It is real and is damaging to our mental health, relationships and is costing us in the quality and quantity of our years.

If that doesn’t motivate you to get this handled, it is also costing you money. Stress means a loss of work and money. Disability claims have risen significantly and the area of largest increase is in mental/nervous conditions. The cost for our country was an estimated $7.9 billion in 1998 alone and about $6.3 billion was spent by individuals on uninsured services and taking time off work due to depression and distress.

Absenteeism due to stress has increased by over 300% since 1995 and over 50% of work days are stress related.

Perhaps this will motivate us to spend more time on what is truly important in our lives.

Next article we will continue with the final 2 keys to winning the game of life, and introduce the traps that most people fall into that lead to them to failure.